Friday, January 4, 2013


He was giggling needlessly. He was not even feeling happy. In-fact he was feeling totally useless. The world felt he was too fucked up. Too neurotic. Too dopey. Too stupid. And the world was right in its own way. He was all that and more. He went to a friend's home to have a cup of tea. The tea was really good. He could taste the milk in the tea and if he wanted to he could just taste the tea powder. The bitterness of tea powder. The strange aftertaste it left after gulping down the tea. He could imagine the tea powder in his head. He smiled. It reminded him of similar looking things. Things that could stone you to death or worse.  It was good shit anyways even though he did not know what it meant and did not know where it was taking him.

The next sip of the tea gave him an overpowering taste of sugar. Sugar reminded him of the world. The world was sugary sweet from the outside and full of alcohol from the inside. The world made him nauseous. The world and its society and its structures and its impediments and its smartness and its ugliness and he went on and on in his head. He was a bit dazed inspite of the tea. He went outside to have a walk in the park  and to see if God was around. He was not sure if God existed but there was no harm in finding out. Instead he saw a butterfly. He started chasing it. The butterfly was really beautiful.  Its wings kept fluttering on and on. The butterfly was whizzing around rather quickly but he could swear it was flapping its wings rather seductively. He noticed the world looking at him. They thought he was insane. He gave them an insane smile just to freak them out. Kids in and around the park were wondering why someone so old would be having so much fun. Grown-ups were not allowed to have fun. They have forsaken that right. That's the look the kids gave him. One of the kids gave a rather jealous look to him as his mum was around and was really screwing his happiness. He had a thought that the kid had become a grown-up already and must be having mundane thoughts already. Mundane thoughts the world has about success and achievement and all that shit that scares the fuck out of you. By which the world judges each and everyone around them. " I am more successful than him. He is such a loser. Haha". That is what the world generally used to think of him when they are around him. But when the world is around someone more successful than them they think "He is so wealthy and successful. He has 2 BMW's and makes a numerical amount of money. I suck" The world always thinks in numbers. In numbers and in objects and what they own. "What do you feel" he used to ask the world "Get away from me. I have all these numbers to achieve. I am not like you. I want to wake up in the morning. Unlike you. I want to do something. Unlike you" the world used to respond. "But what do you feel" he used to ask again. "Fuck you, you dimwit. You fucking retard. You stupid twit. I am judging you. Look into my eyes" Then he looked into their eyes. That used to scare the shit out of them for some reason. The world is full of liars and liars will not be able to see you in the eyes because they are freaking scared. Phoney people used to say that eyes are the gateway to the soul. He believed the phony people had a point even though they did not even understand what they were talking about. Stupid and phony people are though less stupid than him. Freaking gateway to the fucking soul. People saying things they don’t even understand. People knowing things they do not even know. Yet the world was alright. They were too judgmental yes but they were alright as long as they left him alone. They were alright from afar. Their stupidity was contagious as one song used to say. But they were pretty ok otherwise. Trying to reach the goals they had set for themselves. Trying to make people happy. Trying to love and be loved. Most often they wanted to think of themselves as smart. Thinking themselves as smart was a common disease amongst all the mankind. He did not care for that shit at that moment. He was lost in his own world. The outside world did not seem to bother him too much. He giggled at the world and the world responded with a funny look which seemed to crack him up further. All that giggling had made him hungry. He went to the nearest restaurant around him and munched away to glory.

He was feeling happy. Nothing seemed to bother him at that moment. He knew he was going crazy but even that thought did not seem to bother him. He knew nobody would understand him either. The world was going through too much shit of their own to bother about other people’s shit and understand others. He carried on munching till the waiter gave him a weird look for eating so much. He gave a blissful look to the waiter and the waiter responded with a “Stay away” look. He stayed in the restaurant for hours together but eventually he started integrating with the world and was becoming just like them. He paid the bill, started to leave and was walking towards his home. Someone in the road gave him a brotherly smile but he could not care any less and walked away without responding. He wasn’t fucked up anymore. He had landed to the ground.

No comments:

Post a Comment