Merchant of Soul

I hated travelling in planes. They always made me sick. I looked at my co passenger, Mahesh, who was busy reading a magazine. I had shared the routine pleasantries with him and asked him the boring usual questions about what he did for a living. He turned out to be a bank branch manager at some place which i dont remember the name of anymore. He seemed a boring unassuming person who did not have much excitement in his life. The only thing I had found interesting about him was the fact that he was unmarried inspite of being around 40 years. That intrigued me because I had never heard of a 40 year old unmarried banker before. Bankers are conservative folks. They like to have a wife and kids as soon as they could. Maybe this guy was not as boring as I thought he was. I felt like striking a conversation with him. As if reading my mind he asked

"Where did you get that deep gash on your cheeks from"

"That was from a bungee jumping accident I had a few years back. The rope that was tied to my legs got cut and  I crashed to the ground" I replied

" I m sure you never tried bungee jumping again"

"Never. It did a lot of damage. I lost a few of my teeth. These front teeth you see, they are fake. And I was in the hospital for around 4 months"

"Its lucky that you survived. I hope you know that"

"I know I m lucky. It was a harrowing experience. I was very close to death. Its a good feeling to be alive"

"I know what you mean. It feels great to be alive"

"Why? Did you come close to death as well?"

"In a way. Yes. I could have died as well"

"Tell me about it. I m all ears"

"I havent told anyone about it. Its too personal"

"Hey. This is not fair. I told you about my experience. And now u need to tell me about yours"

"Well alright. if you say so. But its a pretty long story. Do you want to hear it?"

"Sure. I like stories. If its good I may even write it" I said.

"It goes a long time back. Around 20 years. I was sleeping in a place that I rented a few days prior to that day. And in the middle of the night, I woke up suddenly. I m a light sleeper. Then I saw a white translucent light creeping around my cupboard. And the weird thing was that the white translucent light had eyes"

"You mean it was a ghost?" I asked him.

"Yes. Thats what I mean"

"Surely you are pulling my leg. But anyways carry on if you will. It sounds pretty interesting. I might as well have a listen"

"Well, the ghost seemed surprised at me waking up all of a sudden. It started panicking, and in the panic, it started swirling round and round in search of a hole to escape"

"Gosh. Really you saw a ghost?. You must have been freaked out"

"Oh yes. I was freaked out out of my wits. I shouted and screamed till my flatmates next door came running to my room to see what had happened. All my books and all my belongings were scattered all over the room. She, the ghost did it while swirling around the room."

"This seems to be out of a Ramsay brothers movie. Are u sure you dint dream it. Maybe you slept-walk and in your sleep you must have disturbed the room while imagining the ghost"

"In the beginning even I had come to the same conclusion. As the windows were closed and the door was closed. I thought I must have hallucinated and slept walk as you suggested. Thats why I dint even leave the place for another one. But I had not imagined it"

"Why?"

"Because I saw her again the next day as well. The ghost. I was reading a book the next day and there she was staring at me. This time she seemed comfortable when she noticed me looking at her, she just kept looking at me. sitting in a corner. And neither did I scream. Even I kept looking at her. Her stare was almost mesmerizing. She never talked. She just stared"

This banker was saying the most incredible things. He dint look like a raving lunatic. But he definitely talked like one. He spoke as if he was talking about an unexpected roommate rather than a ghost. I was not believing him but I was piqued enough to know more.

"This is creeping me out. Are you sure you are not delusional?" I asked rather honestly.

"Maybe I was. Maybe I was not. But you havent heard the creepy part yet. After that day I really wanted to leave. But somehow I also wanted to see her again. See her eyes again. Her figure was not easy to discern, but her eyes were really prominent. When she looked at me, I could see adoration in her eyes"

At these words, I could not help laughing. This was developing into a love story. And the weird part was that he was saying it so seriously.

"I cant believe you. You are acting as if the ghost was in love with you. Which is totally unbelievable"

"Sure, the ghost was in love with me. You got that right. But its not the love you are imagining. Even ghosts become lonely. And she was very lonely. When I discovered her, it was an escape from her intense loneliness"

"I have no words to say. But please carry on"

"We had a few more staring sessions that week. She would appear suddenly. I would be tying my shoelaces and there she would be, staring at me. You have no idea what I went through at that time. I was going crazy. I used to imagine she was around even outside that room. I could sense her around me all the time, even though I could not see her. I did not say it to anybody, fearing that they would put me in an institution or worse, take me to a psychiatrist. I had to bear all this alone"

He was saying it so seriously, I couldnt help symphathise with him. I really felt he needed a trip to the psychiatrist though and I thought it made sense that he dint tell his story to anyone.

"Why dint u change the room?" I asked

"Thats the thing. I just could not do that. I did not want to go away from her. I wanted her to leave me but i dint want to let go of her. It was really comforting to see her staring at me like that. But I used to feel messed up after she vanished. I felt like a Junkie does. Desperately wanting to leave the habit but just did not have the control to do it. I started changing. Started getting paranoid and felt that everybody was staring at me. Staring like her"

What he was saying was shaking my whole foundation of reality and rationality and yet there was a tiny part in my brain that wanted to believe him.

"Why dint you signal her to leave you alone. If she cared for you, she would have left you alone. Instead of driving you nuts like that"

"Oh yes. I begged and pleaded. She would not appear for a few days and then after a few days, I would see her peeping at me from the corner of the room. And you know what, I used to feel relieved when she would arrive because I was going crazy without her too. Then one day, I could not take the  whole thing anymore. While she was staring at me, I took out a knife and acted like I would slit my veins if she dint leave me. But she seemed pleased that I was going to kill myself"

"Is it because if you died, then you could join her as a ghost. Is that why?"

"Yes. I guess. That smile in her eyes deterred me from killing myself. I thought if I killed myself, I would still not be able to escape from her. That, coupled with the fear of dying, ensured that I dint kill myself. Or else, I would have"

"I m creeped out of my wits. You are scaring me like hell. How did you finally manage to get rid of her. I hope she was not too hurt when you left her"

"Who said anything about leaving her. I never left her. I can see her even right now. She is right behind you"

I looked back quickly. I could not see anything except passengers removing their seatbelts.

"What" I asked him almost in a stutter. I was totally psyched out and I was clutching wildly at the handle of my seat.

"Oh my God" he replied " You are sweating profusely. Listen it was just a joke. I was playing a prank on you all along. I m so sorry. The plane seems to have landed. We have to part ways now"

"Not funny Mahesh. Not funny at all." I said. He just waved at me and smiled while moving towards the exit.

I would have believed him that he was playing a prank had I not seen him wink at someone right behind me.  There was nobody I could see behind me.

Raghav

"Do you want to play with me Mummy?" Raghav said.

"No not now Raghav. I have so much work to do. It is your sister's wedding in a few days. Go play with your sister"

"OK" replied Raghav sadly. But the thought of playing with his sister interested him and he ran to her room excitedly.

"Please play cops and robbers with me na didi" he told his sister.

"Go away Raghav. Cant you see that I talking on the phone"

"But its been ages since you played anything with me"

"Really you are missing me. Me too. I m sorry but my baby brother is pestering me. Give me a minute. RAGHAV. Get out of the room. Sorry, what were you saying Tony"

Raghav ambled along slowly away from the room. His only option left in the house was his elder brother Raman. He expectantly went to the room of his brother hoping that his brother was in a good mood. Otherwise his brother was very nasty and would slap him if he acted naughty.

"Will u play with me Raman"

"You are stinking. And you are wearing the same shirt and pant for the past 4 days. And look at your hands. They are so dirty". Raman slapped Raghav hard and said " Dont come into my room until u have had a bath you stinking Urchin"

Raghav got dejected. It seemed that even Raman was in a bad mood that day. Raghav called up his friend Tarun to ask if he was free. Tarun's mum picked up the phone.

"Aunty is Tarun home?"

"Who is this?"

"This is Raghav"

"Just a second"

Then Raghav heard the voice of Tarun saying " mum tell him I have gone out and wont be back for a while"

"He is not home Raghav.You can call back after a few hours" Tarun's mother said and kept the phone.

Raghav tried to hold back his tears after hearing this. Nobody wanted to play with him he thought. His father too was always busy working and never had time for him. Raghav then tried his luck with his mother yet again and hoped she was free

"Mummy nobody wants to play with me"

"Go outside and play with the other kids. I cant play with you. I have so much cooking to do"

"But Mummy, I dont want to play with the other kids. I want to listen to a story from you"

"Not now Raghav, I dont have the time"

"You dont love me dont you Mummy. Nobody loves me"

"Stop being silly Raghav". Just then the phone rang and Raghav's mother ran to pick it up.

Raghav started crying and nobody was around to console him. He started thinking "Nobody wants me. Everyone hate me. If i die, it will be so much fun. Then they will finally value me. They should have realised that they should have played with me."

Raghav excitedly ran to the terrace that was located above the 6th floor. It seemed like a jolly good game to him. He was fearless in his ignorance. He jumped without hesitation and he felt like he was flying like the Superman when he  was hurtling towards the ground. Raghav had an intense wish to play with the toy Superman that he had kept in his cupboard and did not want to die anymore. That was his last wish as his body crashed headfirst into the ground.

The symphony of life

Sam was confused whether to live or to kill himself. The confusion was intolerable. Living meant that he had to live with the ignominy everyday. His bad policies as the head of the business had meant the bankruptcy of the business. And with it the money and hopes of millions of investors had vanished. Within weeks he had turned from a multimillionaire to a man faced with a gigantic debt. Faced with these thoughts he thought suicide was the only recourse. Anything to run away from the mounting debt. Anything to flee the harsh reality of life.

Sam had been a good person even when he was rich. He had given away half his wealth in philanthropy and had always lent a helping hand to anyone who asked. Now, once he was branded a failure, everyone shirked away from helping him climb the hole he had dug himself in.

The empire that he had diligently built over 3 decades had been frittered away in a few weeks. The medicines which his business manufactured to cure common cold turned out to have the side effects of causing cancer and weakening the immunity system. The discovery of the side effects led to a barrage of lawsuits from all over the country. And Sam saw his business crumbling in front of him. He lost all his money, went into debt to pay for the lawsuits and most painfully he had blood in his hands. His medicines had destroyed lives and families.

Sam was crestfallen as he feeling hopeless. If it wasnt for his wife, he would have killed himself long time back. His wife Stella would be heartbroken if he killed himself and Sam too could not bear to live without her. If only there was a way to get out of the mess, he would repay the debt and live a simple life with Stella for the rest of his life. Sam had never given up in the face of problems before. If he did so now, it would mean deserting Stella. And what would Stella think of him if he killed himself. A coward who could not even tolerate a business setback. No, that would not do Sam thought. He would live and somehow survive the ordeal rather than disappoint Stella. Yes, Sam thought, I will live. All he needed was 30 million dollars. That was the amount he needed to repay the debt. After that, he could start with a clean slate. His many years of business experience and his business acumen would ensure he got a decent job which would mean that he and Stella could atleast live a decent life with that money. He remembered that he had made a 100 million dollars contribution to the Bill Gates Foundation a few years back. He would go to Bill Gates himself and surely his request for some 30 million dollars would not be refused. Sam smiled. There was hope after all. Once he repaid his debt he would save enough money to construct a Cancer Hospital to redeem himself from the guilt that he was feeling everyday. After a long time a wish to survive developed inside him. And all this was due to his dearest Stella. What would he have done without his dearest Stella. He bought a bunch of sweet smelling flowers and almost ran back to his home. Stella would be so happy to see a smile on his face after such a long time, Sam thought. He opened the door and saw Stella talking on the phone. Stella's shoulders were drooped in a defeated posture. That would all change Sam thought. Then Sam saw Stella talking on the phone " Now that Sam has lost all his money, there is no point in staying with him. I have already called up a divorce attorney. I wished he had been bankrupt 10 years back. Atleast I would not have been with such a boring person for these many years"

Sam was no longer confused after hearing these words. He jumped out of the balcony and killed himself.

The axis of evil

"I Have heard God" said Janus.

"You are crazy" his friend Mott replied. " What did your God say. That you are his chosen one or did he tell you that you are his son"

"My God says that I will have to be a Saviour from evil"

"Saviour from evil eh. Very original. Quit Joking buddy. I have other things in hand. I have a whole newspaper to handle"

"I have to pass on God's message to the people. Can you publish it for me"

"You really have gone crazy my friend. I have to arrange a meeting with a quack for you. You can tell him whatever Mr. God told you."

" I m just asking for a 10 line article. Surely you can manage that."

"look. I know you for 10 years. And you are among the sanest people I know. I will publish your thing but i m going to give a humorous touch to it, or else I will be the laughing stock. And after that you have to promise me you are coming with me to the psychiatrist once it's published"

"God's word has to be known. He will be pleased. Spread the word that due to the degeneration of the people, the Devil wants to take over everything. The forces of devil are merciless, cruel and powerful. In USA , thousands will be dead this month. This is the word of God"

"Buddy, my newspaper is read by millions of people. There is no room for conspiracy theories in there. But your God knows that people need a laugh nowadays. I will make sure that your message is taken as a joke."

" The believers just need a sign. Just a word from the almighty is enough. You may laugh now. But once the forces of evil are at your doorstep you will realise God's word"

"I m arranging the meeting with the Doc this Sunday and your message will be "spread" tomorrow"

" Let the war with evil begin"

Two weeks later.

"Janus, you have to come with me to see the doctor. I did as you said, but you have to keep your word"

" My word is not important. The wishes of my Lord are important. His words are important."

"God, Janus. What has happened to you. Please come to your senses. You are becoming delusional. God did not speak to you. You imagined it. I have to be honest with you. You saved my son's life. And I will be forever grateful to you. And that is why I m being brutally honest with you. I havent slept for a week now because I m so worried. You are driving me crazy too Janus. Atleast hear me out Janus. You can watch the TV later"

"You need to watch the TV but. Maybe then you will believe God's word"

Mott froze when he saw a news shown on TV. He wouldnt believe it. 50000 people were believed to be dead in one of the deadliest terrorist attacks. A very high intensity bomb exploded in a skyscraper in Chicago during office hours and the whole building collapsed. Mott thought that this was some sort of a cosmic practical joke till he saw the dead bodies on TV"

" This has to be the Chinese venting out their hostility. But they will pay for this. This is unimaginable"

" These are the forces of evil. My sweet lord had warned you and the people already. I was just his messenger"

"You almost seem happy that this attack happened. You think that you were right, but let me tell you that this was a random co incidence. Nothing else"

"I will leave that for the people to judge. They have read the Master's message some time back. This prophecy is enough for the faithful"

"Yes. This would be enough for most of the people who read your message. I dont doubt it. Sure enough. 20000 people have already commented on our message about your message. Looks like they believe that you are their saviour"

"And I am. This time I will communicate my sweet Master's message through the internet'

"Janus, this is not the time to fool around. i request you not to do that. You will cause panic and make the situation worse. Please be logical. I used to envy your logic. You seem to have lost it but"

"My logic is intact. That is why I m the Chosen one and you are not. The Lord tells me that a very important person of USA will die. We have to be ready for his death. I need to tell the believers to search for the successor to take on the evil"

"Surely Janus you cannot publish that on the net. Cant you see that you just got lucky. You just got lucky. Dont you understand it"

" You are foolish and ignorant. I cant waste time talking to you. A lot of responsibilities are on my shoulders. The word of the Creator has to be posted"

A week later, Mott was at his office when he heard that the President was assassinated in a suicide bomb attack. The suicide bomber was a white male"

"Maybe the Russians are involved in this Mott. Why dont you track that line. I will send you a bunch of investigative journos" The chief Editor told Mott

"Sure Boss. That would be Ok" Mott replied. His eye had a faraway look. He knew that the Russians were not that important to him as much as the flurry of activity that would be happening on the net due to Janus' prophecies.

"Mott, we have an issue. The CIA chief just called. One of the contributors to this newspaper predicted both the events. He must have been an insider. Gosh, These are exciting times for the newspaper"

Mott had already left the place to leave  for Hotel Sherathon in New York where Janus was residing. When he reached he saw Janus surrounded by a coterie of followers. Janus had started keeping a beard and hadnt trimmed his hair for quite a while. Inspite of everything, Mott smiled. No matter how Good janus was at prophetic skills, he scored low on originality. Janus saw Mott and gave him a triumphant smile

"Mott I m glad you have come. I m scared without you. I cannot handle my followers adoration. You have to manage them. I m the reincarnation of an oriental diety. Thats what my followers say I m. But i dont like to be glorified like this. I m just a messenger of truth"

"Janus, I still dont believe you. Do you know that there is a woman who won the national lottery twice. In today's world, prophecies like the ones you made can pretty much happen. You just got lucky with the timing"

" Mott, you disgust me. I think that you are jealous that you do not have the visions I do. Because you were my only friend I used to have, I will give you one more chance to believe me. Very soon,the axis of evil will try to do a daredevil stunt that will stun the world. When this vision comes true even you will believe me. Now I have to leave. I have an interview with the media scheduled"

800 kms away, a group of people were celebrating the President's assassination. They were a secret society who called themselves Satanists. They believed that they were the descendants of Satan himself and prided themselves to be evil. The society existed for centuries and its members were quietly planning an event that would mark their arrival to open society. the proclamation from Janus in the newspaper was a sign that they were looking for all along. That got the machinery moving that they had put in place.

Their head was a nuclear Scientist for a US reactor and it was Child's play for him to steal the chemicals required for the high intensity bomb.

When Janus next proclaimed that a very important was going to be killed, the Satanists took that as a sign. A Satanist blasted himself a little distance away from the US President's car. The ability to make such powerful bombs lied only with American Nuclear researchers, among whom the chief of Satanists was a part of.

When Janus predicted that the axis of evil would surprise the world, the chief satanist smiled. It was time to deal with the messenger of good.

The next day, a plane crashed into the Sherathon hotel killing 300 people. It created chaos and panic all over the world. Janus was right yet again. But it was last prophecy he ever made. He was among the 300 killed.

A bad hair day

Keshav was a lucky person in a way. He did not have to shave that regularly because his hair growth was less. Otherwise he was pretty unlucky. He was effeminate in nature and thus all his manhood was spent in proving it. His schoolmates used to taunt him with nicknames like "girlie" and those taunts used to echo in his head long after they had been said. He longed for a decent friendship with someone but as soon as he neared getting close to someone, the other person would remark about his feminine tendencies. After that, Keshav could not bring himself to be friends with the other person as he lacked self esteem and did not consider himself worthy.

The one person whom he truly adored was his father. His father was a simple person and treated Keshav with warmth and affection. Keshav, in return, would do anything to gain his father's approval. Keshav's main aim in life was to buy a sparkling high end Mercedes for his dad. He used to envision the pride that his father would feel and the happiness in his father's eyes. These thoughts never failed to propel him in his pursuit of wealth.

One day, two acquaintances came to meet Keshav and Keshav excitedly introduced them to his father. On meeting them, his father said " Keshav, look at the fine beard these two men have and then look at you. You are such a girl." Keshav felt his heart sinking at these words. He tried to give a smile and replied " Atleast I save money on the shaving razor."

Tom's day out

Tom was a wasted genius. Everyone thought Tom was a nobody. Nobody even gave Tom much of a thought. And that was how Tom preferred it. He had his mouth organ and that was the best friend he had. The other musical instruments understood him as well, but the mouth organ was something that he had deeply bonded with.

Tom could not speak clearly, and strangely his voice had a rough jarring tone which was deeply unmusical. But his hands did the talking and more than made up for the lack of vocal expression. It did not take him more than a few hours to learn an instrument and a few weeks to master it. But his talent was known to no one. When his father discovered Tom playing the mouth organ he threatened to confiscate it or throw it away in the drain if Tom did not study instead.

Tom was feeling particularly sad as his father had kept up the promise and taken away Tom's beloved mouth organ. It was a week since he had played any music. His hands were itching to play something. He could live easily without talking but not playing music was utmost suffocation for him as that was his only mode of expression. He felt like an addict in search of his weakness. He ran to the music room in his school hoping that it was empty. He could not play if people were around. Luckily the music room was deserted. He looked around for a mouth organ but settled for piano when he could not find it.

As soon as his fingers touched the keys he was a changed person. It was his craziest performance ever. He had never felt this alive before. The music somehow magically conveyed all the frustration that his stammering lips could not. The music itself carried hope to Tom that all was not lost. That he could co exist in the society too. He was not as maladjusted as he thought he was. In the form of his music. he could offer something of value as well. In his haste to play music Tom had forgotten that it was school hours. When he finished, he noticed a bunch of people standing behind him. For the first time in his life, Tom was happy that there was an audience which had witnessed his performance. He hoped his performance had an impact on others as well, as much as it had on him. He smiled at them. The crowd replied with angry stares and hateful gazes. A school exam was going on in the class next door, and it had taken the authorities 15 minutes to knock down the door of the music class. A teacher nearby took Tom by the ears and detained him in the headmaster's room where he got the shouting of his life.

The headmaster felt highly satisfied that he had brought a culprit to book and showed him the right path. His shoutings at Tom also vented out the frustration that he was feeling. For not getting the due recognition that he deserved about the fact that the mayor had shook hands with him.

Tom went away quietly. His hands had stopped itching and he no longer felt the urge to play his mouth organ.

Robbie

There was something intriguing about Robbie. I never knew I wanted to write a story about him. Then one fine day I met him and I told him " Robbie, I am going to write a story about you". The words just came out. there was nothing intentional or unintentional about it. It was the most natural thing in the world. It was as natural as wanting to eat an ice cream when you see someone else eating it and before you know it, your wallet is lighter and your stomach is not.

When i got down to writing the story, I started regretting it. The story involved getting into the head of a person and begin to think like him. This is the most unnatural thing in the world. I wanted to chuck the idea of writing a story and eat ice cream instead.

But my interpretation of Robbie has to be told. Because Robbie being Robbie will never remind me to keep my word about writing a story about him. Or else I would be eating an ice cream right now. By now Robbie might even have forgotten the conversation about me writing a story about him. Some people like Willie would have told their great grand children that somebody wanted to write a story about them. But Robbie would not care. He would already be in the lookout for the next new adventure.

My interpretation can be done and got over with in one simple sentence. Robbie is a Hedonist. His wily, slimy, cunning and dishonest eyes keep looking for the next new instrument of pleasure. He is addicted to addictions. And thats why I dont see a rosy future for him. Already I feel his mind is becoming numb. Numb to control, numb to responsibilities and most dangerously he is becoming numb to emotions like fear. Thats the danger any Hedonist faces in his life. Hedonists can be most found in two locations. Hospitals or prisons. They have a streak of self destruction in them. Hopefully, Robbie wont self destruct. He is a great guy. One of the funniest and the wittiest around. He loves everybody and thus loves no one in particular.

MBA's are the creatures who are achievement seekers. Title, prestige, recognition, fame and money is what drives them. A need to feel superior is inbuilt in them. For Robbie, these qualities are conspicuous by their absence. He seems destined to a life of mediocrity because mediocrity is what he seeks. Mediocrity hardly needs responsibilities and that is what Robbie loves best. He loves a reckless life where the only purpose is to look for the next new adventure.